Friday, April 27, 2007


Dear Friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God IS love.-
1 John 4:7-8
I love my husband, I love my family, I love my friends, I love my God. Without love, everything is lost, hope is mute, faith is pointless, and everyday reality is bleak and colorless.
Love is not just a feeling or an emotion, not a fleeting fluffy thing, not a easily broken bond.
Love is not just a word, or group of words, that are empty or shallow.
Love is a force, The Force, the Holy Spirit of God on earth. True, real God love, cannot be broken, shaken, moved, killed, mauled, or hidden. It instead will make the nations fall to their knees, heal the sick and wounded, care for the weak and poor, and cause His people to fly.
I look at the world and see so much pain and hurt, divorce and abandonment,so many widows, orphans, homeless, and so much anger. God sent His love, His Spirit, to fill the ones who call on His Name, to go out into all the world and heal it.
I see divorce all around me. It is trying to creep it's way into my life. Without the intervention of the Holy Spirit, it threatens every single marriage in existence today. Without Love, the unbreakable bond is weak and frail and very breakable. There is no such thing as "falling out of love", but there is a such thing as turning your back on the Holy Spirit, and the Love that God gives us. The world only knows one kind of love, and it is not real. It is a counterfeit love, a shadow of the real thing.
I never want to sound "preachy" in this blog. Please, to all who read, know that each time I share, it is from my heart, and if I find that something I have said is wrong, I will admit to it. I am going through a time of trial in my own life at the moment, and am learning more than I did in 12 years of school and 8.5 years of marriage and the years in between. I have sinned and I have made mistakes that are embarrassing, and mistakes that I know have taken me in directions I never would have gone, but they have all led me back to the One who made me, the One who is making me whole. I have walked a path that could have led to bitter ends and when I asked God to deliver me, He said "ok: now into the fire with you". I am coming out pure gold and pure silver. Did you know that when the refiner skims the drudge off the top of silver that is being refined, if the process is successful, he can look down and see his face reflected perfectly as in a clean mirror? Wow, to know that God will be able to look at me and see His Face Reflected Perfectly!!!
For now, the trial continues. And when this one is over, it won't be long before the next. But each one teaches us who we are in God's Love. Each one brings me closer to the fulfillment of my destiny. Only true Love can accomplish that. Only true Love can turn something meant for evil into something good.

Monday, April 16, 2007

Center of my Focus

"not on the hurt, the past or the shame that you have turned over control of, but on the "prize" the "goal" the future that I promised you"- God
I put some things on the altar yesterday, things I have never told a single soul about. No one, never even talked to God about it, let alone my husband or mother, NO ONE. As I was kneeling there, a woman touched my head, and knelt to her knees, and wrapped her arms around me, and she told me all about how God wanted me to know that He heard me, and revealed to her, just enough to know what she needed to pray for. And I cried, so long, and so hard, and for the first time, really really really did let go. I wouldn't be sharing this on here, but that I hope that someone else can benefit from it as well.
Then that night, I felt so empty, though God promised to give all that was stolen from me back, ten fold, so I went forward, again, this time for filling. No one said anything, but I was pretty sure I was levitating, at least in Spirit. I didn't fall, but my arms were lifted so high, and my eyes open, not closed, and I thought, if I look down, I will see space between my feet and the ground!
But, then, today, the battle was on yet again. Only this time, I learned something. Where the focus of my thoughts are, there is my heart. How can God give me a miracle, if all I do is focus on the hurt, or go over past conversations, or past things done to me? How can He, or anyone else, show me love when I wallow in the hate and pain? So, I did what I have always done, rebuked Satan as a liar in Jesus Name. BUT, it didn't work, something was missing, I mean I used scripture, I prayed, I cried, but I still thought about the hurt, UNTIL, I opened my mouth and started singing. I switched to TRUE praise. Not just "I love you Lord, you are Great, ok
when do I stop hurting?" But, simply, "hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah...." until more praises came out, and my focus changed. And that's when it hit me, the battle has been won, the miracle is there, waiting, but I am not looking at it, I am looking at the past, thinking I have to still fight. Man, here goes another lesson! So, I have to turn around, turn my back on all that crud, since I said I gave it to God, why am I still looking at it? No, turn around and run Run RUN toward the goal, eyes focused, asking God, "what do You want me to do next, that will get me closer to that which You promised?"

Sunday, April 8, 2007


After all that nice warm summer weather, and now its freezing cold, frost on everything, killed the hastas I think. I'm glad I brought the lilac bush into the garage. It's supposed to start climbing back up again this week though, with the highs climbing about 5 degrees every day, and back to 70 by Friday. Geesh.
Happy Resurrection Sunday!!! May God bless you and keep you and make His face to shine upon you! Give Him all the glory!

Saturday, April 7, 2007

God has brought us here

To this place, or to our knees, God has put us here to worship Him. He inhabits the praises of His people. When I praise Him, He moves. When I don't know what to do, or how to pray, I praise Him, and He does what needs to be done.
I was afraid to do anything, afraid of doing the wrong thing, or trying to do my own will, and not God's. Sometimes all He wants is for us to be willing to do His will. When He told Abraham to sacrifice Issac, all He wanted was for Abraham to be willing to do His will, and not to doubt that His plan is perfect. His plan is not just perfect, it's amazing! The legacy that we will leave behind, when we follow His plans, standing in agreement with Him, not kicking against the goad, but going where He prods, WOW!!! If we pray, seek, and turn, He will not fail us, but will grant us Victory! When we put all of our focus on Him, and praise Him all of our days, He will give us the desires of our heart. He may even change the desires of our heart if we let him. I don't need to have anything, but if I seek first the kingdom of God, all things shall be added unto me. Because of Christ, I have every reason to live a full and peaceful life on this earth. I don't have to struggle to make ends meet, or to save my marriage. God sacrificed His Son, himself, so that I could have it all, eternal life, peace, healing, forgiveness, mercy, grace, power over darkness, and all the love my cup could hold, and more.
I asked God "increase my capacity" so that I can hold more of His love. I asked God, "expand my boundaries" so I can share more of His love. I asked God "save my marriage" so people will know that you are the God of love. Then I asked for one more thing, strength to shut up and pray.
Now I pray, I pray every minute, and every minute I am being filled. There are still valleys, still moments of darkness, but they pass like clouds that evaporate in the sunlight. He has shown me mercy in my weakness. I give Him all the praise.
I am going to share somethings on here I have been hesitant to share.
I am not even sure who reads them but they need to be put out there.
God wants His WOMEN to know that we need to be prepared for battle. There are things coming, and we need to be focusing on strengthening our spirits and our bodies. This is a special year, 2007. Things are starting to happen that the world will want to understand, and only we can explain it. We, the reborn, need to be sure we are not letting Satan have the reins in our families, and in out workplaces. We need to not be afraid, but speak truth and love to our neighbors, and our co-workers, our children and our parents and our spouses. And I don't mean all mushy love, but tough love, strong love, and truth. They may not like it at first. But time is too short to let it wait. I am speaking to anyone who will hear, but specifically to women. We have let it go too far, women. We have not used the voices God gave us. We can easily sit around and gossip, or cut each other down, but we have become weak and bitter. I hear so much complaining about husbands, sons, boyfriends, and fathers. And I know that so many of you are like I was, letting the men in your life do whatever they wanted or saw fit, thinking that we were to submit. Well, the Bible says we are to submit in ways that are holy, not in all things. And maybe you are like I was, angry that the man isn't taking on the spiritual head of the household role. Well, we need to get over it. Women need to stand up and start taking care of things. Daughters, look to the Heavenly Father for the example of a good man. Mothers, teach your sons to be like God. Girlfriends, learn who you are, and who God has made you to be before you marry that man. Wives, pray pray pray pray, and do not let Him run away from God when things get tough. Remind him, with actions, that God is in control, not him. Wives, take control. Do not let your heart be troubled, do not be afraid. When you don't know what to say to him, when he has hurt you, when he is hurting your family, PRAY!! Take up the sword of the spirit and fight against the devil with the Word of God. And when things are good, keep putting on the armor. Don't let a day go by without it.
We are not to be silent any longer, letting the world fall apart, letting politics get out of control, letting the Name of God be slandered in our families. We have to pray, for each other, for our country, for the men in our lives, for our children and our grandchildren. But there is something more. There will be another time, when the men will run and hide in fear, when it is the women who are going to be the first to tell the news that Jesus is alive. We no longer live in that part of history, when women are silent, we live in America, and here we have been given a voice and a mission. Military spouses, I know that we have been taken all over the world, leaving our homes over and over again. We have all felt the fear of that phone call, or that chaplain at our door. We have all felt that insecurity that he will succumb to temptation, for the first time, or again, when he is away. But the time for that has past. The season is now for us to rejoice in the Lord, lean on Him, bind up Satan, surround our husbands with angels, and pray for their every step. God has called us to be soldiers of a different kind. Soldiers of prayer for our men. God said He would answer our prayers, He would give His protection, He will honor our marriages. But we have to actually do the praying, we have to live in the Word daily and do what is right. We have to resist the temptations that come against us, to give up, to find another man, to spend large amounts of money, to hurt ourselves. ( I have met people who have broken bones, and wrecked cars to get their husbands sent home, you know who you are, and you know that its wrong). Do we want the military to have such a high divorce and suicide rate? No, we want strong men and women to go into battle for our lives and our freedom. So we must be strong in Christ! We must take care of things, our house, our bodies, our cars, our finances, our families. God promised that He will take care of us, so we shouldn't worry about that. I am not preaching something that I have done all along. I have learned through trial and fire, but God is giving me words to speak so that others don't have to face this particular trial.
So, sorry for the long-winded-ness, but sometimes stuff just must be said.